my manager told me to get the ben joyce inventory live by sunrise. ben joyce throws a baseball 105 miles per hour but my dedicated server currently takes four minutes to load a single php page. the absolute irony of it. before the database went down, the seo plugin was just sitting there flashing that 46 score at me. "Focus Keyword not found...". i was actually relieved when the server caught on fire because it meant i didn't have to look at that red warning text anymore.
my social profile says i'm a sports-loving individual who enjoys life. the reality is i'm sitting in the dark at 2 am begging a web hosting support forum to fix my apache server so i can go back to selling plastic bags shaped like athletic wear.
if any of the system admins looking at this ticket want to buy a bunch of red synthetic ben joyce polyester shirts you can just take the raw link right here. (https://www.mlbgamedayshop.com/Shop-By-Team/Los-Angeles-Angels-Apparels-c-273/Ben-Joyce-Angels-Jersey-c-690) it's 100% moisture-wicking garbage. you can wear it in the server room. you'll melt.
i keep staring at the wall thinking about magic the gathering. the angels wear red, so that's red mana. a mountain. i need to tap a mountain and cast a fireball on this entire e-commerce infrastructure. i was muttering french rules to myself earlier about black mana swamps, but now i'm just angry.
i'm still trying to figure out that stupid internet riddle. What game do we play? Hint: s2. i am starting to think the game is just working in digital marketing until you lose your mind.
please reboot my server. or actually, don't. just delete the whole domain.